Egg Roll Diplomacy

I was out running errands for a few hours and got a craving for Chinese food. I went to a local Chinese restaurant, which was clean and neat, and could have been located anywhere in the United States.

There were only a few people inside. There was jus one man sitting in front of me, and behind me, there was a small family. I was grateful for the alone time and the nostalgia of the place.

Soon after sitting down, a menu was dropped on the table along with some crispy wonton noodles and duck sauce. Within minutes, the waiter came over and took my order. He returned with a pot of tea. I sat alone, sipping tea, eating noodles, and looking around… just relaxing.

Fighting my phone

I fought the urge to look at my phone several times but eventually I gave in. The usual thing happened, I looked for notifications, there were none since the last time I looked 5 minutes ago. I went to Instagram and scrolled for about 15 seconds, quickly becoming disinterested. I switched gears to Google News, and read headlines, opened one or two articles, and scrolled some more.

Why am I reading the news now? Am I looking for validation of how crappy it seems out in the world? Because that’s what I was reading. One thing continues to be clear as evident in the headlines… we, as a nation, do not appear to be united… at all. At least, if you only use the headlines as a true reflection to life, then it’s easy to think that.

There is a part of me that believes we aren’t united, and another part of me that can’t believe that at all. The part of me that believes the headlines do not reflect reality, is the part of me that is out in the world, observing people, observing nature, and seeing something different.

I was annoyed that my phone ruined my gratefulness of the moment, so I put it away. I was the one who ruined the moment, not my phone. I was annoyed with myself for relying on it for company, for information, for a connection to the real world. A connection to the real world? I was in the real world at that moment, and it wasn’t good enough.

My food arrived. It was Singapore rice noodles and vegetables, with an egg roll on the side. I was hungry, so I dug in.

It was quiet in the restaurant. The man in front of me got his food just a moment before I did. We were both facing in the same direction, as if there was a show outside the window that we were both going to watch. We were eating at the same time, and it seemed like maybe we were eating the same thing.

A peace came upon me, and I relaxed slowly while I ate. Once again, I was grateful for the moment. After stuffing myself with rice noodles and an overly fried egg roll, my eyes wandered around the room with each slowing bite; absorbing the surroundings.

I noticed a hat

I noticed that next to the man in front of me, on the table, was a hat. The hat had a clear political statement written on it. It wasn’t a hat that I would own. The position was not my position. I wouldn’t wear a hat that stated my political opinion, it’s just not me.

In some odd way I’m glad that he feels comfortable with his hat. He has the right to wear it and put it next to him on the table. That’s one of the things I love about the US… Freedom.

What struck me at that moment was that he and I were doing the same thing. I thought that despite our opposite political views, we were both enjoying the same thing. We were eating at the same restaurant. We were both alone. We were both staring in the same direction. We were enjoying the same moment.

Does an egg roll taste different to a Democrat or a Republican? 

Politics has no place in the enjoyment of life’s moments. Does an egg roll taste different to a Democrat or a Republican? Does a piece of beautiful music sound different to conservative or a liberal? Does love feel different to one or another? Does freedom feel different? I’m pretty sure the answer is “no”, there is no difference.

Deep inside we are the same in many ways. Love, art, music, sports, fun and thrills are likely enjoyed and sensed the same way across the American experience. We have all of this in common. We have much more in common with one another than headlines on a news app. It’s easy to forget this and think there is no common ground.

So, why do we choose to divide along some of our differences instead of coming together on common ground? The differences that we divide on, are just a small part of who we all are anyway.

When 9/11 happened, there was more unity in the US than I had ever seen in my lifetime. Of course, that unity was short lived. That being said, a horrific event brought us together for that brief moment. In the generations before me, it was World War II that brought the nation together.

I hope we aren’t a nation that needs a huge act of violence to become united. I’m not sure that’s a sustainable path in the long term. Is being hit over the head with a violent hammer the only way our country can become united?

It’s ok for us to have differences

We will never be 100% united on anything, and that is ok. There are a million different positions on everything, lots of different religious perspectives, different ethnicities, and tremendous variation in economic status for us to be totally aligned.

Maybe se shouldn’t strive to be aligned on everything, but instead we should strive to respect each other and admire our own diversity. Let’s strive for the kind of attitude that says “I might not agree with you on everything, but I have your back and you have mine” kind of attitude.

Getting back to the restaurant… Even though I do not understand or agree with the political position of the stranger in front of me, I can see that he is someone enjoying life at the same moment as I am, doing the same thing. We probably have more in common than I’m aware of. A part of me wanted to get up and say that to him.

I fantasized about getting up and asking if I could join him and share my realization with him. In my mind, I saw me sitting there and the two of us laughing at my awkward behavior, but eventually seeing that there are these moments in life that are important.

The stranger and I never met. I didn’t have the courage to follow through with my fantasy. I kept thinking how he wouldn’t care about any of that. The thought about whether I should’ve gotten up to talk to him or not, plagued me. But that all became a moot point when he got up, paid the bill and left. Suddenly, it was over. I sat there for another five minutes or so, drinking lukewarm tea and motioning for the check.

Life doesn’t need to be defined by our politics, but how we live our lives will define our politics.

I wish I had the courage to say something. What would I have to loose? I guess I’m saying something now, just not to him.

Everyone of us can get pushed to the edge of our comfort zone. We all have the potential to get hot about something and fight. Some of us join forces and fight the fight together. We can all choose to live by the headlines. Or, we can put the phone down, look up, go find some common ground, and see we aren’t that different after all. An egg roll tastes the same to me as it does to the next guy…. gross and delicious at the same time.